Welcome to issue four of The Ampersand’s Sunday supplement. In this issue: 14 of life’s small pleasures and the September edition of Substack’s Remarkable Reads.
I’m writing this from the kitchen of the adorable apartment we’re staying in whilst visiting Monopoli in southern Italy.
We’re here for a wedding in a nearby castle and a much needed break from work after recently celebrating two big launches: the release of my partner’s first fragrance and the launch of my debut novel. Both of these have been wonderfully exciting but have also led to us burning the candle at both ends a little too often!
We spent yesterday on the beach, reactivating our melanin and enjoying that “ahhh” moment. You know the one - that satisfied sigh you breathe just as your body finally relaxes. It got me thinking about so many more of life’s small pleasures and so, in this month’s Sunday Best, I’m sharing 14 of my favourites with you.
Small Pleasures
Corduroy
It’s that time again! The season for comfy corduroy - that is unless, like me, you’ve barely been out of it all year anyway. It’s warm, doesn’t crease easily and is great as a jacket, jumpsuit or a pair of trousers.
The corduroy pants that bring me the most joy are these from Uniqlo. I have them in black, brown and bottle green/olive.
I took a Swiss friend to Uniqlo recently as they don’t have it where he lives and he was totally amazed by the word “corduroy”. The Swiss call it “velour côtelé”, which basically means “ribbed velour”. How very logical!
Home matcha kits
I’ve always loved matcha and the health benefits speak for themselves. But, earlier this year, I invested in a matcha brush and it’s been a real game-changer for me. As much as I love coffee, I’m an ADHDer so can be quite sensitive to caffeine. More than one cup of coffee a day can leave me bouncing off the walls or, even worse, jittery and a little out of control. However, when I dared have a couple of matcha lattes in a row, I discovered that, thanks to the far slower release of caffeine, I was absolutely fine.
It’s great to have the focus, energy and alertness I get from coffee but without the energy spike and subsequent crash. Perfect for a day when I’ve got a big deadline looming.
If you decide to take the plunge and get your own kit, be sure to watch a tutorial on how to use it so that you can care for your brush and get the best out of it.
Renting fancy clothes you know you'll only wear once
For the second wedding in a row and quite a few other events over the last few years, I’m renting my outfit from By Rotation. This time, it’s this beautiful dress and, honestly, I can't quite describe how good it feels knowing I’ve not spent loads of money on something that will rot away in the back of my wardrobe after I only wear it once. I get the same dopamine hit when I order a rental as I would if I were buying something new. I’ve also had some lovely interactions with renters on the platform too!
Developing old film
One of my favourite things about taking photos the analog way is how long it often takes me to get around to developing the film. Months after the perfect trip, fun event or walk in nature, there’s all these gorgeous little reminders of the beautiful time I had. Here’s a few from the latest roll:
Living outside of the capital & getting to visit as a tourist
I lived in London for long enough to start to hate it. Sure, London is a cultural hub full of hundreds of things to see, do and eat. But it’s no fun if you’re broke and struggling to access all of that amazing shit. If you’re working all hours and still breaking the bank to pay extortionate rent. If you’re having to work terrible day jobs to fund your art or working night shifts so you can get an education in the day.
I’d experienced all of this but London only really stopped being fun when I got priced out of Hackney after living there for nearly 10 years. I lost my sense of community and started to grapple with a prolonged sense of loneliness. There had only been pockets of that feeling before I was forced to move to North London but this wasn’t something I could shake quite so easily this time around.
After a while, however, I realised it was liberating. All those fears I’d had about moving somewhere else dissipated. I could be lonely anywhere. I didn’t have to live in the most expensive, most dangerous city in the country.
So I left. And it was the best decision ever. I’d left Manchester 18 years ago so, while it never stopped feeling like home, it also felt like somewhere completely new. Plus, I made new friends incredibly quickly. And these new friendships feel quite different to the majority of friendships I had in London. I feel valued, safe and never, ever lonely.
I also started earning more and renting nicer places for much less. I got back into martial arts, started pole classes and got into climbing, while still attending regular yoga classes - all made possible by the lower cost of living in Manchester and more accessible price points for classes. My quality of life and health both changed for the better within just a few months of being here.
Now I get to visit London as a tourist when I need to be there for work or to see the friends I stayed in touch with. And the magical thing is that I’m actually starting to like it again. Because I get to leave whenever I want. And coming home is always the best part.
Reading magazines in the bath
A hot bath with bubbles and bath salts (I like magnesium flakes and epsom salts) just can’t be beat when it comes to accessible relaxation.
To make it even more enjoyable, I have an app on my tablet called Press Reader that enables me to download and read as many as 15 magazines a month for £9.99. A confession: Yes, sometimes I do actually read the articles but, honestly, a lot of the time I just look at the pretty pictures. It’s the ultimate way to switch off and I’m yet to drop my tablet in the bath water (touch wood).
Water sounds
Speaking of water, nothing makes me happier and more relaxed than the sound of rain, waves or a gushing waterfall. It’s like a massage for my brain. I know I’ve mentioned this in a previous Sunday Best but I seriously cannot recommend the Headspace app enough. It has an extensive library of Sleep Sounds that includes just about every water related sound imaginable. Perfect for this little Pisces.
Colour therapy
There’s been many a study showing that bright colours spark joy and dopamine dressing is something I’ve always engaged with. I also think that merely looking at bright colours can make you happy and that’s why I’m very much looking forward to checking out Der Blaue Reiter exhibition at the Tate when I get back from Italy.
Expressionism has forever been my favourite artistic movement and I’ve collected many memories and postcards from visiting a variety of exhibitions showcasing it’s most famous artists. But what’s particularly exciting about this exhibition is the inclusion of Gabriele Münter, a prolific but often overlooked female artist.
Getting a new seasonal knit
Fall means trudging through crispy leaves, explaining to relatives why I don’t want to celebrate Thanksgiving, eating way too much and wrapping up warm. I just bought a new white knitted sweater from a local boutique here in Monopoli at such a steal I had to ask the store clerk to confirm the price twice. In the run up to Christmas, I’m looking forward to being cosy in my new jumper, mug of tea (or matcha!) in hand, writing away in my little office. Unless, of course, I’m lucky enough to get an acting job and, if I need to travel for it, my new winter warmer will be the first thing I’ll pack.
Big slouchy bags
The perfect autumn transition from the trusty Uniqlo shoulder bag I now have in six different colours. The slouchy bag I bought in brown suede here in Italy is big enough for even more stuff than the famous half moon pouch. Because sometimes showing up with my Lucy & Yak backpack just isn’t appropriate, much as I adore it.
Revisiting Old TV shows
I seriously cannot get enough of old episodes of ER right now. It’s the television equivalent of comfort food and just so incredibly ahead of its time. I’ve written a whole piece about my love for ER along with some other shows worth rewatching. Check it out here:
Figs, Chestnuts & Pistachio cream
Here in Monopoli, these three things are abundant and figs are so celebrated you can find little ceramic odes to them in virtually every store.
Of course, pistachio has been having a bit of a moment in the UK (and presumably the US) for the last couple of years but here, it isn’t just a fad. It’s an essential part of the local cuisine and Pistachio ice cream, cream tarts, croissants and even salmon are the stars of the show. Virtually every establishment has something pistachio related on their menu.
I’ve also seen multiple roasted chestnut vendors here, the scent of autumn wafting down any street they occupy.
Pomegranates
Pomegranates are seriously underrated. Aside from the fact that they look like they are wearing miniature crowns and their seeds look like tiny rubies, they taste incredible. Personally, I think they get a bad wrap because it takes a bit of effort to actually get to the seeds but, these days, most grocery stores sell punnets of prepared seeds ready for you to eat without the mess. I go through about four or five a week and, yes, I understand that this is probably not normal.
Imagine my joy when we rounded a corner yesterday and came upon a garden full of pomegranate trees! Sadly, we couldn’t actually reach any of the fruit but the mere sight made me smile and filled me with child-like wonder. Nature is amazing.
The perfect perfume
How could I not use this opportunity to plug my fiancé’s exceptional debut fragrance?
Mausam really is my favourite perfume to wear right now and is the culmination of an incredible six year journey of training, planning and dreaming. It’s a stunning, gender-neutral fragrance that beautifully brings together 46 materials including notes of mango, cassis, hazelnut, myrrh, labdanum and sandalwood. It was a true labour of love to create and I couldn’t be more proud of my ridiculously talented partner. Plus, the bottle was designed by our brilliant friend Arantza Trevino, who also created all of the little illustrations and banners you see on The Ampersand!
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Remarkable Reads
Early in September, I put out the following note and soon became overwhelmed by the unbelievable response:
As a result of this call out, I got to read some of the most phenomenal writing I’ve ever read on this platform and made some great new connections.
With that in mind, it was hard to narrow down my most loved posts to just a few for September’s Remarkable Reads but here they are…
“It was a space rewilding, a space relearning what it was, but still it held the memory of what had come before. The walls retained echoes of the blues and greens they had once been. On the shelves, almost empty, stood an oil lamp and a jar of marmite. The cushion on the one remaining chair looked as if it held the imprint of the last person who had used it. In the bedroom, a hairbrush rested on top of a chest of drawers.”
With a background in evolutionary biology and animal cognition, Rebecca is certainly one of the most interesting people I’ve come across on Substack. With over 650 subscribers, I wouldn’t consider her following small by any means but, when she commented on my note, her work sounded so intriguing, I knew I had to check it out. I was quickly swept up by her stunning descriptive language and then discovered that this piece referenced a story I know all too well.
Last year, when I was on holiday in Ibiza, a friend of mine pulled a card for me from her oracle deck. It was the selkie, a mythological creature who appears in the story retold beautifully by Rebecca in her essay. I chose to interpret the card as an invitation to shed some skin, unburden myself of whatever mask I was wearing and emerge a newer, even more authentic version of myself. Since then, I keep stumbling across reminders of that card. This piece was another one.
“We do not eat cats and dogs. Maybe some chicken feet, pig feet, cow feet, oxtails, gizzards, and liver. We might suck the eyeballs out of a red snapper, even turkey neck bones, sure—a chicken heart, your grandmother's favorite. We might even drop some beets in potato salad, scoop out the insides of a pumpkin for soup, and pour Carnation milk into orange juice—but never cats and dogs.”
Marc is one of the many Haitian-American writers I’ve had the privilege of meeting on this platform since I first launched 4.5 months ago. There must be something in the blood when it comes to Haitians and creativity and Marc wants y’all to know that eating cats and dogs is not how it got there.
We Do Not Eat Cats and Dogs is a timely piece that is both a joyful celebration of what it is to be Haitian and a painful lament on how cruel American society has been towards people of Haitian heritage over the years.
Marc shouldn’t have had to write this essay. But he did. And it’s perfect.
“After two months of dating, he announced that he was stopping chemo, with the notion "if I'm going to die, I want to die living, not die trying to stay alive." Despite the odds, his courage and resilience in living fully were terrifying and inspiring; I responded with 'Your body, your choice," though I was scared. Within weeks of him stopping the chemo, it was as if I was dating a new man; his energy, his weight, and his appetite all went up; we danced longer, we loved deeper, and we still took naps; he still had the best dad jokes.”
This post might be my favourite thing I’ve ever read on Substack. A truly gifted storyteller, tenterhooks is another reason I am so glad I did that call out.
Reader, prepare yourself: this essay is a real rollercoaster. I was, quite literally, on tenterhooks throughout. Joy, heartache, love and the highest possible stakes, all in one 10 minute read.
That’s all for this month’s Sunday Best. Thank you, as always, for being here and don’t forget: the simple act of clicking the heart button at the bottom of this post means more readers will see my work. I’m also never happier than when I’m reading your thoughts in the comment section. See you there.
With love,
xK
"totally amazed by the word “corduroy”. The Swiss call it “velour côtelé”, which basically means “ribbed velour”. How very logical!"
Corduroy is the English version of the French "cord du roi" meaning fabric of the king. Back in the day, this fabric was so expensive to weave that only royalty could afford it.
Very glad to see your shout out for Rebecca Hooper. A rare and brilliant talent, scientist, observer, writer.
love this piece!! your film photos are absolutely gorgeous. I've always loved the idea of film because you're really capturing something physical about the light of that exact moment, which I don't think is true with digital. and I love the idea of the photos being a delayed treat, too! (also YES to reading in the bath - one of the best things!) x